Sometime I dont understand how to utilise my time or may be rather how to pass my time. its not that I dont do anything. rather when I work its 100% time consuming. I am into film making, nope I am not a film maker, just work with the crews when the film is on making, yap its like having a flag in my hand, as a green signal, or sometimes red , sorry for being a bit confusing about my profession. but I think that’s represent the state of my mind just now. I am a production person. work as executive producer or production co-coordinator depending on the size of the project. But I am a freelancer, so that I dont have to work always, sometimes I love my free times , sometimes I hate that, this is just a time when I am hating it.
this is the time when I hate talking to my friends even, this is the time when I become philosophical, cant tolerate my dear husband, hate to talk to my darling mom . cant even think about having an extra marital affair, not even making love or watching movie.
Interesting the time when I hate doing all this things , I am trying to write a blog and not hating it. its great, possibly I am just talking rubbish but I am enjoying and that’s all for me just now, what else can I expect?????
Just when I should do something more important , like as i am at home after 4months, I should take care of my home, which is looking like a platform, full of refugees, or a bit like a haunted house. but u know that’s the last thing I would do now. or may be writing some important mails, nope cant do that too. I can see my full write up represent the negativity just now I have in my mind, all the NOs, nothing positive. Its just all I dont want to do, there is nothing I want to do now.
writing blog just now giving me a feel of shooting not with the camera with a gun, bang bang, all out and open, nothing left inside my mind anymore. Possibly thats called frustration. Do you think its right to start something new with so much of negativity, but anyways if I think other way round starting something new somewhere has a stick of positivism also.
Reeling much better now, thanks to those people who started this concept of blog. If anybody even try to read it and want to abuse me please feel free to do that.
